Stand Up

I went to visit some of my girlfriends awhile back. Lots of gisting and laughing, and in the process of one of them bringing out her wallet to show us a picture, a CD fell out.

Friend A said to Friend B "this girl you be kolo, wetin you dey do with this thing?". Friend B replied "I nor be kolo, I be brainee, I dey protect myself".

That's it, most of us, especially girls fail to protect ourselves. We feel CD is a thing for the guys which is not good. There is nothing wrong in a lady buying CD. There was a scene I saw once, where the girl stood outside of the chemist while the guy went in to buy the CD, who was she deceiving? We all saw that they came together holding hands and all that.

Most of the time, girls feel so secured that they are the number one girlfriend , so freedom to skin dive with their boyfriend. Yes, I know skin diving is very sweet. But the truth is until you are married there is no freedom of skin diving, because you don't know what happens between your boyfriend and number 2,3,4 and 5.

Just look at using CD and skin diving as business investments. CD is like an investment where you sure of 65% -75% return on your investment, while skin diving is a delicate investment which involves a lot of risk, you can put everything and get a 100% return, but it can also crash at any moment.

So Peeps, whats it gonna be? 65% -75% pleasure and enjoy a long happy life or a 100% fast mind blowing pleasure and face a risk of a short miserable life.

I STAND UP for myself against HIV/AIDS, I choose to be safe and I advise you do the same.

It's TGIF people, have fun and be careful, me am going to be TGIFing in my room.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

A Gift From Google

I started blogging recently and its something I have grown to love and look forward to doing. I didn't just wake one morning and find myself at www.warrigirl.com. As most of you know there was an upgrade movement from the temporary site to the HQ, where we are now.

Am going to give you all the gist and  about my precious Google gift.

Few weeks ago, while I was having a lazy day, I checked my bbm update and saw a friend put "OMG! this isn't happening", curiosity got me pinging and asking her whats up?. She said her sister who happens to be my paddy paddy, my Olele personal person had opened a blog.

"Seriously", I said, "oya push me  the address let me check". I checked the blog www.darkdiva007.blogspot.com. It was cool and then I thought, why dont I start my own Blog, keep myself busy and blog away. That was when the passion was born, but before I started, I decided to carry out research about blogging on goggle.

In my research, I stumbled upon a Nigeria site, there was an email address for contact, I sent a mail asking few questions. My mail was replied immediately, I sent a mail back saying 'Thanks for your guide whenever I start my Blog would let you know'. Days later, I started on WordPress and sent my blog address to that email, saying "Thanks for your Guide, I started blogging last night and this the address www.warrigirl.wordpress.com". I sent and forgot about the mail. 30minutes later, I received a mail saying "Nice name, why don't you check if your domain name is available, and if it is, please buy it ASAP".

See me running to popsy with dictionary, trying to find out what domain name was,then I got it, my own site name without WordPress. I didn't know how to go about getting the domain name and I started sending the guy mails and he kept replying immediately. This was the start of a wonderful bond, after about 20somthing mails had been sent, I guess he got tired of typing and said "In short send me your number let me call you'.

He called and explained the whole domain acquiring process. Luckily for me, I checked and warrigirl.com was still available, I placed an order and they said payment must be made within 24hrs if not the order is terminated. This day happened to be a Sunday and the next two days were public holiday, so no bank for me to make the payment.

I felt down and the unknown guy I met on Google said "Let me see if I can make an online payment for you when my network is back, send me the domain name, and password". Hmmm....... I paused briefly to think, because am madam analyser, before I do something I over analyse it. I thought and said, there is no risk in trying. Forwarded the details to him and Gbam! my domain name was paid for. I shock, I called and sent him thank you messages. This was when I received my  gift from Google. They sent me a Guardian and a Coach.

From, this point on he was like my new found love, we talk, we chat, we gist blog. I thought buying the domain name was a shocker, I got a bigger one, when he called to tell me www.warrigirl.com is active and he has moved all my post from wordpress to this site.  I screamed, couldn't belive my ears, I kept on logging in to the site like every 10mins to actually belive it was true.

Google sent me something wonderful when his site turned up on my search. I call him Gee, short-form for guardian. Sexy shey, you need to hear us talk on the phone, I would be like "Gee my blog is doing this, Gee please check the new post, Gee this and that",lol. Nothing is up ooo, we are just friends, Coach and student.

If someone has told me in my wildest dream that this kind of thing would happen to me, with no strings attached I for say abeg eee. But here I am today blogging from my own site.

I wanted to put up his name and site, but he prefers to be anonymous. Who am I not to obey the wishes of my master. Thank God self, say he nor agree because he is actually cute*eyes closed*, before some female predators go and prey on my Gee, Facebook tinz.

Darkdiva, shey you reading this ooo, since you ping my battery die with OKRO NOR DEY BIG PASS E OWNER, because na we start together, sorry na you inspire me,lol. My sister, you see nor be me, na God and Google send me Guardian.

I would be forever grateful to you Gee, may God continue to bless you, give you good health of mind and body, keep you alive for me (continuous guidance) and may you never grow tired of my funny and disturbing questions. Amen

I hope that one day we would get to meet. Thanks Gee.

Note: Babes it doesn't mean you should start Googling any how, checking how to send text. Please nobody should mention Cynthia Okorogu, because I said I hope to see Gee someday, let's allow that girl RIP.

This post is Dedicated to Gee. 

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

What a Question!

A guy sent me a message asking where he could buy an engagement ring. Shoooo see question, am I now the Directory for Warri *eyes rolling*. I asked the guy, why you asking me and he said "you are Warri Girl na, you suppose know". Hmmmm........, Mr C that's a question for my Mr.Right wherever he is, not for me. Anyway shey they sell Gold in main market na, you can check there.

Note: Mr Right, please place an order for my diamond ring from Europe ooo, not main market abeg.

Speaking of ring, my friend, my yellow rabbit, Diana Odiaka(Miss Tourism Africa 09/10) just got engaged and since I know that APROKONICING is sweet, here are some pictures readers, to quench the aproko hunger.

It was actually lovely, the lucky guy -yes lucky guy,while do they always say who is the lucky girl and since am a girl doing the typing-, the lucky guy Olufunsho Peters proposed to her at the cinema while a movie was about to start. There was a display on the screen ' DIANA ODIAKA.....please make me the happiest man on Earth......Will you marry me?' and he knelt down right there in front of her, with the theater filled with people. I wasn't there oooo, na Diana gist me, so that's straight from the horse's mouth.

Oya sorry, see the pictures.

Congrats Babe.

Peeps, I know you noticed something, but let me just say it before you yab my friend. Enagegment has confused her that she changed the ring from middle to fourth finger, loooool.

Abeg eeee, e nor matter so far she is engaged. We they come for back.*winks*

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

One More Cool Dude

"Madam come and escort me to the hospital, its like I want to give birth", that's what my elder sister said immediately I picked up the phone. She was sounding so cheerful unlike the way you expect to feel agony from the voice of a woman having contractions.

I said "hoor, wait ooo, I done give birth before, abi na me born you? Wetin do mumsy, call her na, na her work be that". My sister started laughing, she said it was a false alarm.

I sat and thought, one day we must all get belle, born and am still trying to imagine it. The constant-K thing I know inside is that whether lekpa or orobo, you must go out of shape, then maybe later gain yourself back. The day my sister had her first delivery, her leg nor fit enter bathroom slippers, when I saw this, I said shooo, na so.

To God be the Glory, my sister's false alarm turned out to be true alarm later at night, she went into labour and gave birth to a baby boy.

Yeaaah, I have a nephew, one more cool dude into the world.

My mumsy don pack go do omugor, so that makes me the mother of the house. Less waka now, but its all good, I need a little rest self.

Don't worry, my gist can't stop, whether am in or out, there is always gist.

Am off to go drop pepper soup, have a nice day peeps.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

What's Up With Our TVs

Abeg ooo, wetin happen to our tvs for the junctions for Warri. Oya curse me say I nor know the name, but how many of you know the name, some call it big screen, display screen etc. VMS boards that's the right name, but we turn our own for Delta to television.

Was on the road as usually, decided to just check the match update, so I could ping one of my guys and form current. Like"dear,your club is wining and all that".

I raise head go up to check and wetin I see, blank screen. Our Warri television that's always showing africa magic and matches, easy tv on the move, was off.

Most people sha haven't noticed it, just take note now and you would see.

Shey they say na Project Beautification Delta State, to put dstv for us to dey watch. So, as a full Deltan, full Urhobo- quarter Ijaw, am asking ooooo, wetin do our tv.

They spoil? Abi they off them, to save am, because me know sha that 2015 those tvs must on for campaign.

Please, share you opinions on comments, because I really love to know what happened.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Better Go Come

Hey peeps, I know you are all waiting for gist and what I caught. Una nor dey go church self, me am just coming back so now am ready 2gist. Yesterday didn't really go as planned ooo.

At about 12:30, when I don deck shaygay ready to storm the marriage with all fishing tools, my popsy called me and said "wakajudge, where we going to today". I laughed at wakajudge but told him I was off to a marriage along Jakpa road.

He said "that's good, traditional marriages don't start on time, so you can help me pick up something at airport road and drop it off at my friend's at refinery road". Me being a good Omote(daughter), I agreed thinking it was something I would just do sharpad-ly and be off to my yankee sea to fish.

Otor oooo, it wasn't like that. Got to airport road and I was delayed, spent over an hour there. Chai! my body bite me tire, I dey restless anyhow for there, like dog on heat. So tay,I wan start to dey bark self.

Finally got the package and headed to drop it off(see me doing DHL for my popsy). I got to his friend's place, ManU verse Fulham match was on. The premiership is back most boyfriends are disappearing, if you be sharp girl, you go chewing-gum your own and escort him to all matches.

There was a scene where Usian Bolt was shown among the spectators. I hear say he be wan try out for ManU, hope say he get football skills oooo, if not he go turn cripple commot that field.

I dropped the package off. It was 4pm, I face the marriage, there sha be no loss ooo, my decking can't be in vain. By this time, hunger dey kill me, I was in the place called H-ing zone.

Thank God, food surplus, I gauge wella and scoped for fishes, I didn't see anyone ooo, e be like say I arrived too late, the sea was dry, all the fishes were gone. Na I say ok, time to face house, bad fishing trip.

Am not disappointed o, I be Warri, no time for dulling, am saving my tools for another time, fishes nor they finish for water. Better go must come.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Going Fishing

Welcome readers.
Hmmmmm....... Up, and all I seem to think about is this traditional marriage I would be attending today.

You, know why my head is clouded right now, am trying to search for what am gonna wear. Wonder, why so early and what's up with the restlessness.

First of all, looking good is good business and secondly, its a marriage. Omo that's one of the major place single girls tend to catch cool guys.

Now, this marriage would be a nice sea to go catch some fishes, the bride and groom happen to be from Yankee. Me tooo, I wan catch yankee guy na. When I dey Murtala Mohahmed airport dey nack Dp and Pm, off to the U.S of A, by that time una go come know say my restlessness wasn't in vain. Hahahaha.

Let me get back to my wardrobe raid. Time to bring out my spear, rod, hook and net because am going A-fishing.

Wish me luck peeps, I would let you know whether I caught a whale, shark, dolphin, electric fish, or tilapia self. Please pray against crayfish or perewinkles.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Full Confidence

I happen not to be a great fan of Nollywood movies. During the past two days I have watched two different movies starring Mercy Johnson. The first, Dumebi the Dirty Girl, and the second, Thanks for Coming. Nollywood and their funny names.

Watching these movies, I imagined God’s mood when he created Mercy J, he must have been in His Highest. She has the most perfect natural body I have ever seen. Yes I say natural because she is a perfect comparison to Nicky Minaj, who we all know is all fake and plastic.

Those of you thinking, Lesbian mood in activation, pause that thought. Am only admiring God’s creation.

While watching the movies, I thought to myself, if only I had slimmer sides, bigger ass, and smaller waist maybe I would have been extremely-extremely hot and sexy, but my face for worwor DIE.

You see, everyone of us are special in our own different ways. Mercy J seems to have an extraordinary body with a face not so pretty.

Me, I happen to be chubby right from birth and am very confident about it because I have some really good features. I am ENDOWED, I Balance wella. If someone says “You dey fat ooo”, I reply “Na evidence of good living”. End of discussion .

I have full confidence in myself, I never forget the fact that am unique, because readers once you lose your confidence you lose yourself.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Proverb Award 2012

The Proverb Award 2012 was held last night in my room, with paper, biro and me Warri Girl as the Chief Judge. Here is a summary of the event.

1st runner up:
OKRO NOR DEY BIG PASS E OWNER.
This proverb was the runner up after much deliberation. It relates to all does Smallies when all off a sudden, they just start forming big and being disrespectful.

Typical example is a young girl that just started having sex, omo nobody reach her again o, she have tasted the forbidden fruit. You would notice that a young girl that use to greet an older girl “Good morning” before, would see the older girl, flip her hair back and walk pass. Yes na, una don become mates, you are doing the same thing so you are equals.

Its the guys I pity pass, a girl that used to say “Bros good morning” all of a sudden she would see this Bros and say hi, hello, or wats up. Hahahahahahah

I know what am saying, when my youngest sister starts having sex, I would definitely know because to send her to get me water, she go roll eyes,lol. I did it to my elder sister,my immediate younger sister did it to me, and our last born would do it to her as well.

But when strong thing jam all this Smallies for front, that’s when they would know indeed that “Okro nor dey big pass e owner, no matter how big,it must be plucked”. Because whatever you are experiencing in life someone has already experienced it before you. There is always someone a step ahead of you and one day you must definitely bend and ask for advise or help.

And the,
Winner of the Proverb Award 2012..is,
BUTTERFLY CALL HIMSELF BIRD.
This is for all the Wannabes, trying to form gbogbo bis gal by force. Your mama dey fry akara for Enehren junction, you dey use bold 20, brazillian 100inches, dey scatter anyhow for bbm – Sheraton Chilling, Dubai Tinz. You be big butterfly because you dey fly, you feel say your wings strong reach bird.

Even if you doing waka and paroles, am not judging you oooo (before R_nz Girls Assocation come and arrest me, you know 9ja Police can arrest for anything, even the loss of toothpick).

All am saying, is that, if you are doing waka, let it show at home. Move that woman from the one room face me-I face you apartment that you are all living in and take her away from that fire. Because no matter what CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.And this is still the greatest proverb of all time,it has won uncountable awards, that’s why I didn’t put it among the nominess because, its a Legend *smiling*.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Date Gone Bad, But GRACE Prevailed

Yawning…….., am up and thanks be to God I woke up hale and hearty with swollen eyes and stale alcohol breath.

Yesterday, I was off to see a friend on a bike.How many of you know the cool feeling on top a bike on the express road? I love the feeling, makes me feel like Rose in titanic when she stood at the edge of the ship, the wind tossing her hair with Jack supporting her at the back -only that in my case its the iron at the back of the bike that’s supporting me,lol.

The bike man was blowing at an average speed, me I was enjoying the natural AC, all of a sudden I noticed the breeze was reducing, that’s when I raised my eyes from my phone and saw that there was a large crowd gathered just before Otokutu juntion.

Trust warri na, Aproko kill us, before I could say Jack, the bike man stopped and parked. We came down and I asked “wetin happen” and someone said “na accident ooo”. I looked around, I didn’t see any car that looked like what was involved in an accident, been curious I asked ” but bros wait o, where the moto” and the guy replied, “naim dey for buttom for der”. That’s when I looked down at the edge of the road and I was shooked by what I saw, the car had jumped off the road down a slope at the edge of the road and was upside down, compressed and covered by thick bushes.

I continued my aproko and started asking various bike men questions. Note: Bike men in warri are a good source of gist.

One of the bike men told me that it was a guy and a girl going out on a date, in the car and he pointed to the girl and the guy.

Omo, when I saw the girl I knew that this was a date gone bad, she wore an orange short, a multicoloured half top, green waist belt, and yellow flats(nor be small colour blocking). She fixed a very long weavon that flowed way down and stopped under her ass, and I was like nor b small somthing ooo, this chick must have really prepared for this date and now see how everything turned out.

How they got out of that car,me I don’t know. But to God be the Glory they weren’t injured and I just tried to imagine how bad this date could be.

First of all, almost 30 bike men don touch the girl body finish with ” dooh, eyah, kpele, thank God ooo” and she wasn’t fully covered. Then the guy just sitting at the side of the road just seeing his honda compressed and ruined, his millions down the drain, but what if it wasn’t his own car self, maybe he burrowed it, that one na big trouble.

All this I was just reasoning when I got back on my bike, and I was like, chai! this is a date gone really bad but at least they are alive. That’s Grace, He came and He saved.

And thank God say the girl face nor disfigure, she for hate her self, because for worwor boy to get Girlfriend nor hard but for worwor girl, hmmmmm………I rest my case.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Take Banana

” Take banana till you go yoooo, take banana till you go yoooo”.
Song Title: Take Banana
Artiste: D’Prince

Dear readers, majority of you already know what the song implies, but for thoes Bro. Peters and Sis. Marthas forming they don’t know, I would explain.

To me oooo, Warri Girl, it means B to the J (oya add up BJ). Stop squeezing your face like you don’t know what am talking about, no need for the holy act, its just you and your screen.

Back to the song, all my ladies, I know you must have had some bananas ; maybe a finger, some fingers, or a bunch. Am not judging*winks*.

I believe the guys DIE, they are ever ready to offer the banana. The offering varies among them, some offer the BIG AGRIC banana, some the SMALL TINY english specie, and other MIXED breed (this the safe zone, not too big or too small). Anyone ooo, so far banana is offered, lol.

Omo D’Prince must be endowed ooo, just see some words from the verse 2 of the song, ” she whispered to me say-say wetin I ge-ge-ge-get , I pulled her closer cause I know wetin I get”.

Hahahahaha, am just a normal girl, saying the truth, we all love the banana, whether we the ones giving or receiving.

Am still laughing, the public holiday is making me feel like today is a saturday, because nobody is rushing anywhere. On a normal monday I would be doing the job that most nigerian unemployed graduates do, visiting job sites.

Come to think of it, I wonder *thinking* what some people are doing indoors right now, maybe taking bananas and having some pump actions.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Alcohol In Me

Hey peeps, I just into my house now around 9pm, and am fucking tipsy. I really did a lot of mixing and as warri people say, ” na mixsy-mixsy dey quick high person”.

I had a bottle of red wine, two bottles of big heniken and two bottles of simrnoff, so pardon me if they are errors in this post.

Right now, all I can think of is SLEEP! and I really had a good article to share with you about ” A Date Gone Bad” . Don’t worry tomorrow when my eyes don clear well I would share it with you.

But for now, am enjoying this tipsy feeling. I dey one side, and its cool and relaxing. This is where I draw the curtain for the night.

If you like judge me, say I high, na you know, me I had fun today and enjoyed myself, thanks to my Tee *hugs*. I told you from the beginning am a Warri Girl, so now am sharing my today life.
Pray, that I don’t have hangover tomorrow, so I can share the article of ” A Date Gone Bad” with you.

Goodnight Readers,

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Guys Against Underwears

So you all heard Kim gave Kanye a LAMBORGHINI,yeah I know what you thinking -old gist.

Am not about to blog on Kimye, but about the Nigerian guys who sent the Broadcast of “Girls we are no longer accepting boxers, briefs and singlets as gifts “. Just because Kim gave Kanye a car.

Hey Mr X, you trying to compare your girlfriend with Kim Kardashian of all people, before you do that, why don’t you compare yourself with Kanye. He takes her to different awards shows , travel trips and all those gbogboyen-gbogboyen (good things).

Why do u expect something out of the ordinary? When you always carry your girl to WINNAS, CORNER-LORDS , CHI-CHI’s BAR, MISHAI, YABASIRA etc. Am not saying local tripz aren’t fun,but once in a while,give your girl a special treat.

Take her places such as Unites States, The Carribeans, Paris, London, Dubia, even Calabar self. But don’t do this every month o, except maybe you are Dangote, lol.

Just do this, and am telling you would definately get more than UNDIES. You might even get the Lamborghini self,lol (but if your girlfriend is presently unemployed like me) you would get a realy expensive gift but realise at the end you the one settling the bill. Hahahahahahaha

Don’t mind me ooo, am just having fun and sharing my views. I believe that the monetary value behind a gift is irrelevant, the feelings and emotions are what’s important. Gifts symbolizes and expresses love, care and affection.

N.B: Most of you guys know that without your girlfriends, you would probably have been using two boxers for a whole year. Lwkmd

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

The Free Spirit

I was chatting with my friend just now on bbm and she sent me a message.{*laughing emoticon*gunshots ooh, jakpa rd, mtshhheeeww, I don come again} and I replied back lol.

Then all of a sudden,I reasoned the fact that it is actually a serious issue of lives and properties,robbers and guns,and we are laughing and chatting so freely about it. That’s when it dawned on me,its the Warri spirit,the free and jovial spirit of all wafarians and I smiled and thought its actually a good thing.

Life is a lot more easier if you have a free spirit,you are able to overcome difficulties and disappointments,you make the best of your situations.So my dear readers,let’s all try to have a free spirit and we would would have a happy life.

Smiling,dats my favourite emoticion on bbm&my charming physical asset.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Introduction to Blogsphere

Hey peeps!

I’ ve been a keen reader of different blogs and after long deliberation,I decided to try out my writing skills(lol).

I am a full Warri girl,an Urhobo by tribe,born and bred in Warri City.To crown it up,I attended Delta State University,Abraka.Most of you who are conversant with Warri and its environs,would know that the distance between Abraka and Warri is about 30mins,so schooling in Abraka is almost like staying in Warri (typical Abraka Chics know what am talking about *winks*).

Ok,back to myself. Am an outspoken,fun loving and jovial person. Most people say am hyperactive,dunno how true that is. I am :
22years old,
Chocolate in complexion,
Single ………. and searching(but not yet a Desperado,lol),in general a lovely person.

Welcome to my blog ,I’ll be writing about everything and anything, about me,my experiences as a Warri girl, music, sex, movies, entertainment, etc. I promise you an exciting time each time you visit my blog.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.